Apparently this is what separates us from the lower life forms. If true it begs the question: Is the life form responsible for these “accessories” an inhabitant of our planet?

Sadly, no answers are forthcoming from CoOperative Designs where these beauties feature prominently, albeit namelessly, in their Spring/Summer 2010 Collection. As to their lack of specific nomenclature, no surprises there. I don’t know what to call them either. Leg warmers? Leg Coolers? I have no idea.

Who can wear these leg… thingies? Well, knitsibs, let’s be frank. These whatsits are for the young people. The appropriate age range and thigh girth required to wear these… whatevers both fall within a certain band, and that band is most decidedly narrow. Cute-as-a-button Suzie, over at over at Style Bubble, where I found these leg whozits, is certainly rocking the look. The strappy sandals she chose are just perfect. Personally, I think they’re a really tough sell on anyone over twenty-five, but I don’t mean to be prescriptive. If you can picture yourself wearing them, and the words “mutton” and “lamb” do not appear in your self description then, I suppose, you should go for it.

The real question isn’t, of course, whether or not you can wear them, but how would you knit them? That was my second thought when I first saw them. (My first being, “Ewww.”) I have to admit I find the prospect of figuring out a pattern for them somewhat intriguing. They should be ridiculously easy to knock off, if one had a mind to. Where would you start? At the top of the thigh? Or would these be a toe-up item? Would you knit all the motifs first and then join them with I-cord? Or would crochet chains be easier? And how about those knee pad/shin guard jobbies that roll in at the sides? Come on. We can do better than that, surely. A two stitch garter selvage ought to tidy those up. Or, better yet, knit the flat bits in moss stitch, and avoid the baggy knees that we all know will become an issue about an hour after you don these… Okay, I am tired of not having a name for them here. What the hell should we call them? Wait. I know.

If these Leg Whackadoodles were ever to become this season’s Must Knit item, I’d undoubtedly knit them. I hate to admit it, style maven that I am, but I am susceptible to both knitting and fashion trends. (I knit a poncho once, for pity’s sake. ‘Nuff said?) Though am well past the wearing of such an accessory in public, they might come in handy when Tonia and I play “Princess and her Slave”. I seriously doubt, however, that I could get Tonia to wear them.

PS: Thank you, knitsibs, from the bottom of my heart, for your kind messages of support these past few days. You have helped more than I can say.

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